Burden.
What comes to your mind when you hear (or read) the word burden? Huge boulders and a mom juggling groceries plus toddlers are the first thing I think of.
After deeper reflection on what that word means to me personally, I immediately feel guilty.
I am a burden.
Intellectually I know I do more than waste space and that I deserve to breathe. This negative inner voice is what remains from growing up with an emotionally immature parent.
I walk on eggshells desperately seeking to avoid asking people for help. I try my best to fade into the background and make myself as small as possible. All because I don’t want to be a burden.
Asking for help seems selfish as others in my life are already burdened enough by my needs. I feel I don’t deserve help.
On the same note, I’m a giver and a people pleaser. I have to earn the right to be in your life by doing everything I can to ease your stress. How can I ask for help when my friend or loved one needs it more than I do? I don’t deserve help in comparison to the needs of others.
Burden.
I am challenging myself to correct my inner voice when she calls me a burden. I’ll respond with something I have done to help others or something only I can do. Through these daily exercises I hope to change my inner voice, so she believes I’m worthy too.
What does the word make you feel?